Scent of a Woman

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Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Heard that many times right? The fact is that we are different! Men and women have trouble agreeing on certain things as these two sexes have constant clashes of opinion. We just need a magic potion, so we can understand the other gender better. It’s more like a potion that we can drizzle on the Martians or Venusians forehead and we might be able to see the light!

I still can’t understand most men and am not trying to these days! It’s exhausting. I just think they are better off the way they were made. Woman are very complex being. We think too much. We talk too much. Well, the list goes on. But men on the other hand have absolutely nothing going on in their brain! I GET IT!

We are all looking for the significant other to spend our lives with. So it’s important that we address how different they can be in their communication styles, their emotional needs, and their modes of behaviour. We need to learn the secrets of communicating without conflicts. Basically understanding each other.

I am writing this based on one of my adventure to the world of pink heart balloons and fine stainless steel needles (dating). I dated a man who was absolutely nothing like me. You see, his parents were scouting for a bride for him. It started off with getting to know each other in which, I took some time because I wanted to know what this total stranger is about. In a traditional Indian family, taking time to know a person is equivalent to wasting time! So I have been told!! If you like the guy and the guy likes you….well after your 1st date, the parents meet and after that prepare to get hitched!!! Crazy stuffs like this do happen in the 21st century! After much debate on wanting to know each other better, it was victory on my side.

I was just part of his life plan and I was supposed to fit into his life. The relationship lasted for a whole year and ended with me taking a ticket out as I was never taken care of  emotionally. I was definitely not worried about being given a nice home or money in the future. I was worried that I could not do what I loved with this person. Our ideas were so different that whenever I compromised, I was loosing myself and if he’d compromise, he was going to resent me in future. When you love each other, you will put his/her needs before yours and not resent. People always say that women marry a man expecting him to change and men marry women expecting her to stay the same. If you love that person, you will do any small thing that would make the corners of the mouth curl up a little. It’s not changing yourself, it’s all about making the other person happy. That’s how I knew that that bloke I dated was not for me. It lasted a year because I was getting to know this person and I just didn’t get it!

Lesson learnt: Opposites attract only if they complement each other.

When a woman in her 30s dates a man, her needs and wants are very different from a woman in her 20s. Most women want security in a relationship. She wants to feel that you can protect her from any physical harm. She likes you to be capable of keeping her safe and bring home some bread – even if she can afford to do all that by herself.

A woman wants her man to be honest. She doesn’t want her man to be lying to her about important matters. She wants him to understand that she is always there when he needs her. She must feel like the most important person in his life and he must be able to trust her. To her, his life is her life. If a man finds himself lying to this woman, then he may be taking a  detour on his ship and it will be a matter of time before she finds out.

A woman wants you to know her so you can love her for her. She will exhibit all her good sides and bad sides . She wants the man to understand her for who she is and not what others perceive her to be. The gift of having someone understand you is priceless. There won’t be confusions and misconceptions. They will learn to be around you.

I have been able to care for myself in the past few years. But it’s not the same when I am in a relationship. Women love to be cared after. It’s crazy but it’s more like she knows she has someone she can fall back onto, to share her burden. She will do the same when no one else will.  A woman is always impressed with a man that knows compassion. Not just towards her! How he is with his surroundings is very important. She wants a man whom others look up to and is kind to others. Don’t worry gentlemen, its not sissy to have compassion. Women don’t really go hand in hand with malicious men!

Women want their men to be strong, both mentally and physically. It makes her feel safe (PS its a freaking turn on)! Well, its not because she wants to date Hercules or anything but it’s human nature. Women love men who are strong! PERIOD!

This brings me to chivalry. Well, it’s sort of dead these days. I don’t know who killed it, men or women? Chivalry kind of died with some women seeking equality and thinking that chivalry is a way of belittling them. I BEG TO DEFER!! It’s  nice to have the perfect gentleman talking me out on a date. It really does make a woman feel good. It’s not because I can’t open my car door or drive myself to the restaurant but it’s nice to have a MAN actually paying attention to the little things that they can do for you to make you feel special.

Women are seeking equality as most are after all educated and earning a living and still being the home minister at home. It’s like asking for the right to climb the corporate ladder or vote or drive (in some countries a driving woman is equivalent to a run-away camel) is interpreted as not wanting to be treated like a lady ever again. Even the most successful woman will have shivers down her spine if you can put your hand around our back or walk beside us not ahead of us. Maybe some women have lost their value nowadays, but there are still women out there that deserve chivalry. I still appreciate all the men out there who do this day in and day out, not to woo the woman but because you were brought up to respect people. Remember dudes! At least try walking on the right side of the street.

So, you see women don’t really ask for a lot of things. I am just jotting down what good Venusians are about when it comes to being in a relationship with a Venusian. Women are crazy but they are loveable. Try to understand this and I think Martians will be doing just fine. I still have good hope for all the Martians out there!!!!!!

Love,

A humble Venusian

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